12 Days of Wrestling Fan Christmas: Day 1: A Women’s Royal Rumble Match (& 40 Men in the traditional Rumble Match)

Dear Pro Wrestling Father Christmas

stonecoldsanta

aka Sports Entertainment Santa,

I’ve been a very good wrestling fan this year, and most years since roughly 1990. Let’s not talk about 1992-1997, or 2002, or 2007-2009. I lost my way a little bit during those years. I’ve been really good lately though, and I have a list of things I’d like this year. You won’t find any turtle doves, but maybe a few frog splashes. It contains no gold rings, but maybe a big gold belt. There will be no pipers piping, with all due respect to the Hot Rod Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Without further ado, my first wish(es).

1st Day of Christmas Wish: A Women’s Royal Rumble Match.

We’ve reached a funny point in our country where wrestling fans are more progressive about equality for women than the general public, if the presidential election is any indication. Women’s wrestling has been on a steady rise over the past decade, starting with the TNA Knockouts, then the Four Horsewomen in NXT (Charlotte, Sasha, Becky, Bayley), who have now moved up to the main roster and are main eventing TV shows and Pay-Per-Views. The women are now having street fights and Hell In A Cell matches, it’s time for them to break more ground with a new first for women’s wrestling.

I’ve heard Taz discuss on The Taz Show that you don’t see women’s battle royals often because it is harder for the women to bump over the top rope. This past year, NXT showed us that it could be done with an over-the-top rope battle royal to become #1 contender to the NXT Women’s Championship.

nxt-battle-royal

The other concern in the past would’ve been depth, but in today’s WWE Universe, they have enough talent and enough capable alumni to fill out a 30-woman Rumble match if they needed to.

  1. Alicia Fox
  2. Bayley
  3. Charlotte Flair or Sasha Banks CharlotteFlairMoonsault.gifSashaBanksFlipDive.gif
  4. Dana Brooke
  5. Emmalina
  6. Nia Jax NiaJaxSpear.gif
  7. Tamina
  8. Alexa Bliss or Becky Lynch AlexaBlissXmas.jpg
  9. Carmella
  10. Eva Marie EvaMarieXMasStairs.jpg
  11. Naomi NaomiGlowRingIn.gif
  12. Natalya
  13. Nikki Bella Nikki-Bella-Santa.jpg
  14. Aliyah
  15. Asuka
  16. Billie Kay
  17. Ember Moon
  18. Liv Morgan
  19. Mandy Rose
  20. Nikki Cross
  21. Peyton Royce
  22. Mickie James
  23. Maryse
  24. Lana
  25. Deonna Purrazzo
  26. Santana Garrett SantanaGarrettHoliday.jpg
  27. Tessa Blanchard
  28. Jacqueline Moore
  29. Trish Stratus
  30. Beth Phoenix
  31. Michelle McCool
  32. Velvet Sky
  33. Angelina Love
  34. Layla
  35. Victoria

If WWE was worried about fans overdosing on that format with “too much” Rumble, they could easily cut that number down to 20 or 15 women in this first installment and see how it goes. This could give fans a new tradition to look forward to every year at the Royal Rumble. It could also make the Women’s Championship matches at WrestleMania feel like they meant more by giving one of the #1 contender’s a bigger hill to climb on a big stage.

Who wins this match is less important than the existence of the match, but I’d go with a final four of Nia Jax, Bayley, Mickie James, and Becky Lynch. For a winner? It might be my Irish bias speaking, but I’d make the first-ever Women’s Royal Rumble Match winner, the Bad Lass, The Lass Kicker, Becky Lynch.

BeckyLynchEntranceBetter.jpg

Also, I’d like a 40-man Royal Rumble Match, but that’s a post of its own.

McCaffcrest … OUT.

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About Joe McCaffrey

Sometimes I teach. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I give advice. Sometimes I make people laugh. Sometimes I party. I write stuff for the comedy website friendshipstyle.com and I do some stand-up comedy.
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